dream of mysterious birthday murders.disappearances on the island of horses.

my sister and i are out on the boat. we went out together for a daytrip on the water, on the lake. the scenery, all is very dark. crowded forests and dark water.

we come back and through the trek on the path i come across a white horse. he is a mirage but frightens me nonetheless. he curves his long white neck down at me from the cliff above and the idea is that he is going to kill me. he sees me. he spies me. i am caught.

little relief comes from the knowledge that he is just a hologram.

we continue up the path and we are bounding up these dirt stairs cut into a tall hill, to our cabin, which we share with dad and elizabeth.

we get there and there are candles lit, but as we near they are blown out one by one. by an invisible force.

we enter the cabin through the front screen door and the room is dark and trails of swirling candle smoke choke the air. they are gone. we know they have been taken.

we are incredibly worried and about to panic. we trek off, stage right, to find help or answers.

the next thing i remember is coming to the house of the shaman who lives over the water. his house juts out over the water. katie and i are about to reach him, carefully hands and knees on the rafters. he is on a loft, surrounded by his shamanic treasures. he is costumed as one would expect a tribal witch doctor to be. he is apologetically stammering and i am demanded answers that i know he has.

i reach out and leap the last 10 ft of space between us and land on his loft. the house is a bit like a barn.

we learn from him that the dark forces from the other, secret hidden side of the island are taking and murdering those whose birthday it is.

we set out again.


at one point i am in a hotel room on the balcony and in come a swarm of them. drew brown is heading them and they're all singing happy birthday. i yell and yell at them, it's NOT my birthday its NOT. he keeps saying it is.

i enter the bedroom and angrily confront him. he explains that if he didnt throw me under the bus, they would've killed him, because it is really HIS birthday. i snap his neck, removing the head, and throw it up into the moving blades of the ceiling fan. how dare you betray me. coward.



the force from the other side of the island is magical however, and i believe that no one can escape them.

flash to me floating in water, and i'm in the sydney opera house - at least the rigging. someone is shooting arrows at us and i'm a little afraid they're going to shoot down the rigging. floating in the ocean. floating in australia.

we move back, the other floater and i, and now we're in an outdoor theatre. i'm in the bleachers in front of two australian men, marveling at their accents. a girl beside me is in a blue tanktop and her tits are small but gorgeous. she has longish dark hair. i marvel at her and pour over her, giving compliments abound. then the men behind me start to flirt, and one of them wraps his arms around me. we begin flirting and making out, there in the outdoor theatre.


then move to me on a stage, another part of the dream. there is a really hot woman who looks a bit like naomi campbell. a man is asking her to take off her clothes. a group of women to her left and behind say ' that little line too! ' for she's wearing a thong. i help her take it off and glide hands over smooth skin. we begin fucking, and i realize she has a dick as well as a pussy, and beautiful breasts -small like mine. i ask her if she minds if i jump on it, and she says something like it will not be the same. but i do anyway, i am all lubed up. she is gorgeous, if underexperienced and a bit self-conscious. i look for a vibrator, the crowd of girls is now around us and helping us out. i'm fucking her and trying to come, even in this crowd of people. i am on top and her dick is deep inside me. i kiss her.

and wake up wanting to be fucked. needing to come.

dream of mafia murders.

we are in the street, people get shot. we are running, trying to hide behind bodies and get out of there as fast as we can. the street is crowded with people, some just watching the shooting, some trying to get away. we hop on our bikes, me and 3 others, josh is in the lead. we're tearing down sidewalks in the ghetto, trying to get out of the ghetto. i yell 'turn left!' directing the group down what i think is a shorter path. josh doesn't hear me, and continues down the street, taking a left one block down. as we pass perpendicular streets i'm looking for him, red jacket flowing behind him as he rides. i'm trying to yell to him so he sees us and doesn't get lost from the group.. we're still in the ghetto. white vinyl-siding shotgun houses rotting on the block.

we get home, and once again it's my apartment, but different. a disoriented dreamapartment. i walk to my bedroom and out onto the balcony, feeling what's about to happen. in the dark i turn to the right, and he is sitting there. the maintenance man who came to work on the studio room earlier. i ask him what he's doing still here. the feeling is that he has a crush on me, had tried to call me while i was away. it's certainly odd that he knew i was there in the house but did not come greet me, just sat in the dark creepily until i discovered him.

back to the bedroom, josh is there now, in the chair where the papasan is in the real dream. i feel relieved now, hopefully by introducing him as my 'boyfriend' i can get this hispanic, dark haired, dark skinned young skinny maintenance man to leave.

i see my bedroom has been rearranged - i can no longer use the fireplace, and i had these gorgeous logs, many of them obviously just decorative because they were polyurethaned or something. many were oversized, but most were in the shapes of mary and the saints. i wanted to put them in the fireplace for decoration, but my bed had been moved in front of it, completely covering it. tacky, so not feng shui.

i maybe comment on my disapproval - why did they rearrange it like this? sigh.

in the studio, i see that hispanic boy has worked alot, but left the whole place kind of a freaking mess. there are colored patches of drywall or something all over the colored wall. i'm trying to decide whether i'm pissed because i have to remove them, or if i'm going to incorporate them, just leave them and love them.

then they come in. the mafia. their job is to kill motherfuckers. regular folks.

they're propositioning josh and the hispanic kid to join their crew. waiving large sums in their face, conceptually. there's a contract. they're pretty fucking scary, and how the hell did they get in my apartment anyway? i've got to figure out how to get that door closed.

the woman, blonde, intensely scary eyes. she looks at me and asks how i'd feel if josh started this? i say well personally i'm not okay with it. if he started doing it, i wouldn't see him anymore. but you know, i've got nothing against it.

obviously i'm afraid of the woman, trying to gloss over my opinion on the matter. josh stands there, contemplating the money he'd make. yeah, i'd kill some people for that kind of money.

next thing i know, they're in my bathroom, the mafia, trying to cut up or drain out or do something to this body. they've killed the man, and now he's in my bathtub, and they're performing some kind of disgusting procedure on it. my door keeps getting taken off and i keep trying to explain to maintenance that i have 3 cats and they could run away if they dont replace the damn door ASAP.

i put my kitties in the studio and all is then pretty much well.



switch to outside the apartment, there are 2 girls and i talking. one is wearing soft knitted wool leggings. we are sitting in a triangle talking. presently i realize they are only talking to eachother, and i feel excluded. then the dark haired girl to my left turns her back completely on me. i complain of the fact, then get up and walk away, making some passive aggressive excuse, avoiding confrontation.

i creep upstairs to the 3rd floor, traveling up the stairs with this big fruit basket. i'm dropping it off at the house of the enemy. girls i believe. ex-friends. i go to drop the basket and see in horror that the door is wide open. some of them must be in the apartment, feet from me, and i'm unprotected, by this open door.  i'm afraid. i drop the basket and run down the stairs. endscene.