I am from shallow creek beds
from snakes in the grass
and snappin' turtles
Won't let go til lightnin' strikes
I am from down in the valley
On Pine Valley Drive
Named by my father
And the inground pool, chosen over air conditioning when my parents sold the sailboat.
It felt like night coming on and settling between pine branches
It felt like heavy sobs
In trouble again and
Dad hits hard
It felt like recurring nightmares
That Catholic conscience wouldn't let me sleep
Felt like my sisters in the woods
The only place I wanted to be
I am from the garden
the sunflowers and little cherry tomatoes
Mom let us keep a plot
With a pinwheel
We would neglect to tend it
Weeds and dried out soil
I’m from the wintertrips to Florida
and odd sense of humor
from Anna Mae
and Bud, before suicide
I’m from the Miller good looks (we don't make ugly children)
and Catholic Republicans
From Whippoorwills that eat little girls
And I'll give you something to cry about
I'm from Saturday mass in the balcony courtesy Dad's social anxiety,
And God told me to knock the shit out of you the next time you don't say your prayers at dinner.
I’m from Germany, Germany, Germany, wieners and whiskey.
From the wooden leg of uncle so.and.so
the drugged and raped by their father at night.
Miller family reunions at the campgrounds in Ironton.
I am from rusted cobweb memories which are many better staying put. From the woods I came and to the woods alone I belong.
I am mother nature's child and hers alone.
and it was so sta-range how you whirled the sound the rushing sound blood swirls my brain you speak in Reverse counterclock the whirl while time is stopped for me for me
my hand rests in yours it's like first kiss I don't want to move I don't move to speak want to tell you stop saying over and over how you can't be here brother, you are here
as am i, breath held to leave spell intact
and we linger on do you dare to go? do you dare to stay? We deny ourselves my heart and veins scream out swirl their needy madness rushing stops my head on your heart squeezing you so tight telling myself not too tight
and you go.
Peel our energy off and escape through the back
the downy fluff of my cat carries rose oil and unnameable you